June 25th, 2010
by Shele Belle · Filed Under: Uncategorized
Cougar Woman Expose’
I have the pleasure of introducing to you Maree Jordan, a beautiful older woman who has recently come out of the closet to proudly proclaim herself as a ‘Cougar’. I hope you enjoy sharing in Maree’s intimate and empowering journey.
I guess I’ve always had it inside of me, that little tingle of being attracted to younger men. But because of the ‘stigma’ attached to older women dating younger men was a big taboo, I kept it to myself and yes many a times fantasized about them only.
After my first divorce, it took me at least three years later to have the courage to have my first fling with a younger man. I was 36 and he was just 19. At the time, I had to keep it a secret and not even tell my best friend. She would have been horrified. It was the most sensual, fun, carefree, and yes extremely liberating weekend I’ve ever had. We stayed in a hotel for two days and neither of us wanted to leave the room or as a matter of fact keep our hands off each other. Thank goodness for room service. Yes he was very young, but that thought didn’t even cross my mind at the time. He was extremely attentive, playful, passionate and very complimentary and just wanted to please me in all ways that it felt like a dream. Every time I think about it, I still get those shivers and tingles. Unfortunately, this taboo was still playing on my mind. He kept asking me out to dinner and parties, but I just kept saying no, being in fear of what people would think and that fear of looking so much older than him. Sadly, he stopped asking me out. And again continued to keep this secret urge of younger men to myself for years to come.
Towards the end of my second marriage, that little tingle inside of me was driving me crazy and was setting me on fire even at the thought. I was working in the corporate arena and worked very close with my Director who happened to be 13 years younger than me. I was 43 and he was 30. I felt his energy and I guess he felt mine. Yet again, I felt this awkwardness of being with a younger man. He kept asking me out in public places, and I felt sick in my stomach just even thinking about what other people would be thinking. Finally, with his playful, fun, wild and carefree convincing attitude I took a step into the outside world with him. He had no issues with it, he would hold my hand, cuddle me, kiss me and even told people that I was his ‘girlfriend’. My stomach yet again would be doing swirls and really felt like vomiting. Not because of him, but because of what people would think of me and give me those ‘looks’ and how disgusting they thought I was. I dated him for about three months, behind closed doors, until that stupid ‘stigma’ got the better of me and yet again sabotaged a great relationship.
Since about, three months ago, I was dating older men, well men aged between 38-54. They just didn’t excite me enough. So I was still craving on the inside for that younger man. I finally joined a couple internet dating services and yes love my face book and found so many younger men were gravitating towards me. So many were asking me out, however, with the mindset and reservations I had at the time, I kept saying to them that “I don’t do baby faces”. Another thing I found with the younger men is that they are really persistent and very cheeky in their ways of asking a woman out. Yes, I did flirt and teased a little but never had the courage to go out with them. I was starting to feel that itch again, and with so many compliments and their upfront attitude about enjoying the company of an older woman, and yes I would question them as to why. They all said the same thing. We have no hang ups, we know what we want and don’t want, we are carefree very sexy and wild in bed and don’t break their so called ‘balls’. With all this feedback I started to feel that silly ‘taboo’ in my head was slowly fading away.
With my new circle of friends, and especially one absolutely gorgeous girlfriend, they all were referring to me as a cougar. That’s because every time we had gone out to bars, clubs, parties the younger boys would be all around me. I used to just giggle it off and yet again…stood my ground and kept saying “I don’t do baby faces”. Yet still this urge was fighting with me on the inside.
Yet again, decided to try it again. I was 45 and he was 33. This time I met him on an internet dating service, we made a dinner date, yes in public. I really enjoyed our conversation and of course all the flirting over dinner. One thing that really stood out was that he gave me a huge compliment to the waitress. She turned around and said to him ‘you are a lucky guy… she is absolutely gorgeous’… his reply was ‘I know…’. My heart skipped a couple beats, I felt mushy on the inside. Met up with him on a few occasions, apart from the initial public dinner, I avoided a one on one public interaction with him. I would meet him at his apartment. And yes, yet again I slowly backed away.
It wasn’t until after a friend had introduced me to cubsandcougarwomen.com and said that I would enjoy reading some of the articles and pointers in there. Having that fire inside of me for so long, I couldn’t wait to bring it up on my screen and start reading. As a matter of fact, I think I went back and re read most of the articles about three times.
That’s when I had that moment. That moment where I couldn’t even feel or hear that silly ‘taboo’ inside my head. A sense of freedom overcame me. That feeling of “I look great and age makes no difference and who cares what others think”. My confidence was boosted and no longer was there a ‘taboo’. And with the help of my friends, and talking over it with them, they simply just told me to get over it, and start having some fun. And that I did.
I jumped on a chat site and started to flirt and yes a little cheeky with some of the younger boys. One guy in particular caught my eye again. He had initially asked me out about six months ago, when I saw his picture again I was blown away. I was scared at the time and made up all sorts of excuses, and yes I did call him a baby face and told him I was too busy. So, seeing him on chat again, as you can imagine I was completely blown away again, and yes he asked me out again. I had no reservations no hesitation, instead I was excited and thrilled that he came back to try for seconds. He is 26 and I am 45. We booked in a night to meet up for drinks. But in the meantime, we did a lot of flirting via texting and yes speaking on the phone prior to our date. I literally was walking around with my head up in the clouds. One other thing, that kept me from dating younger men, is that I have teenage daughters. The thought of them seeing their mother with a younger man I thought would absolutely disgrace them. Well I did tell them I was going on a date, and they asked me how old, I told them. To my surprise, they squeeled with delight and said about time mum, we didn’t understand why you were dating older men in the first place… and yes they also called me a “Cougar Mummy”. So with that relief and with not a care in the world with the age difference I couldn’t wait. The date night finally came. We had drinks at a bar. I have never felt so okay and so comfortable dating a younger man. But I guess it’s because, I threw all the stigma associated with all of this right out the window and I was about to have some fun. He showed me so much attention and it didn’t matter who was looking. He held my hand like we’ve been together forever. He kissed me like nobody was watching. And I didn’t even notice anybody else. I felt so damn good about myself that I too was initiating a little cheekiness. His compliments were so real and would make any woman melt. They were real because he would look straight into my eyes when he would say them. One thing he also said to me, is that he felt rejected when he asked me the first time and has always thought of me and always checked my profile out on face book to see what I was doing. Towards the end of the night, he took my hand and walked me out of the bar, walked across the road to the beach. I have never felt so free, so wild, so carefree, and the most I loved was that this stupid ‘taboo’ had completely disappeared out of my head. We had sex on the beach, and I’m not talking about the alcoholic beverage either. My guard was down. And I didn’t care who was watching or what they were thinking. All I know is that, finally I have allowed myself to enjoy the companionship of a younger man in public and feel so damn good about myself.
With all my questioning, research and experience, I have discovered that younger men have no issues with dating older women, in fact that is what they want. It’s we, or at least I have had that issue, because of our crazy thinking of what people would say or think and how much older we would look beside them. Our younger men are carefree, playful, wild, cheeky, passionate, adventurous, have great imagination, loads of energy, have no baggage or issues, and simply don’t want a ‘girlfriend’ suffocating them. We also allow them to be all of the above and enjoy it with them. This is why we are so attracted to them and they are to us. And if you have a very cheeky playful wild adventurous nature and have heaps of energy, a younger man with the exact traits just makes the fun and excitement even more daring. I have never been so proud calling myself a ‘cougar’……What was I ever thinking????
To find out how Maree’s journey is going being a Cougar click here now.